


Found for a Second

by 12thofNever



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 05:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4991191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/12thofNever/pseuds/12thofNever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Second Doctor cannot understand why his next incarnation resents him so much. In a private moment, he finally confronts him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Found for a Second

**Author's Note:**

> After the events of "The Three Doctors".

    "Right. Let's deal with this right here and now. Why do you hate me so?"  
    "I don't hate you. You're... well, you're me. How can I possibly hate myself?"  
    This tall, imposing man he was to become was continually exasperated by him. And it exasperated him to be found so exasperating.  
    "It's quite easy, looking at you, dear fellow. Hiding behind all this blustery vanity and indignation. What could I have possibly done to deserve such ungracious treatment, eh?"  
    He was the younger incarnation, a small, elfin man in over-sized clothing with a mop of untidy hair as dark as his future self's was snowy. He glared up at what would be his next self. This new leonine Time Lord version of himself had been nothing but rude to him and now that they had a moment to themselves, he demanded an explanation for all the unnecessary resentment.  
    The reaction was not what he expected: all at once, the taller man's imperious facade seemed to completely shatter. It was a startling sight, seeing the hard, indignant face suddenly sag and crumple. Then this immaculately-clad tower of velvet turned away from him and covered its face in its hands.  
     "Oh my word." Alarmed and now suddenly very afraid, Second put apprehensive fingers to his own face. "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Is it that horrible...?"  
    By the shaking of those strong shoulders, Second was amazed to see that his other self was weeping. How disconcerting it was seeing this lofty statue of a man dissolved into tears. His own hearts were breaking at the sight.    
    "What have I done?" he asked. "Or should I say: what will I do?"  
    Like a hurt child, Third managed to gasp out, "You--we--haven't done anything. It was the Time Lords."  
    Second turned pale. "Oh crumbs." He stepped closer to his distraught future, whose imposing back was still to him. "So they will find me after all."  
    Third wiped his drenched face with an impeccable sleeve. "You summoned them yourself."  
    Second looked horrified. "What?" he cried in outrage. "Why would I do such a stupid, STUPID thing?"  
    Third sniffled and then gently sighed. "To save lives."  
    "Ah..." Second looked to his worn shoes then, mumbling,"Of course. Of course I would do that." He then looked at his other self with the deepest of sympathies. "Then I am so sorry for what I will put you through."  He hesitated then, winding his fingers together, terrified to ask the next question:  
     "How do I die? Is it the Time Lords?"  
    "I shouldn't tell you," snapped Third suddenly, waving his hands in futility. "We're doing enough damage right now having this conversation."  
    "If I remember our teachings in the Academy concerning timeline paradoxes and meeting oneself, the earlier incarnation will have no recollection of the psychic link shared between incarnations once properly situated again in one's own time-stream. In essence, you will remember me, but I shan't remember you." He stepped up to Third very carefully, studying him with concern. "So you needn't be afraid to tell me. I will forget, after all." His voice was very gentle then. "And it looks as if you desperately need to tell me. It will do you a universe of good, dearest fellow."  
    Third turned his tear-swollen eyes down towards the compassionate face of his predecessor. Second knew he was remembering seeing this same face from his past life, except it had been reversed in a mirror.  
    "They forced regeneration upon you as punishment. They changed you into me."  
    "Forced? You mean they..." Second stared past him, aghast with disbelief, then said in a very small voice: "Then they executed me."  
    His own horror was broken by his next self's sharp moan. He glanced up in deep concern to see what suffering he had caused, what he himself would eventually endure.  
    "It hurt so much, the change. It..." The lion-like man he would become began to weep with renewed vigor. His sobs became a rushing tide.  
    "And... and Zoe?" Second swallowed deeply, then finally managed a further name: "Jamie...?"  
    Third shook his head forcefully. "No. No more. I can't tell you. It will crush you."  
    Second stiffened. He straightened surprisingly sturdy shoulders for such a small man. "I am a lot stronger than I look. What I lack in stature I am a giant in ingenuity and integrity." He pulled at his lapels then, and lifted his chin: he had become the indignant apparition of their very First self. In this way, the ghost of First was now a participant in their conversation as well.  
    Third merely glanced at him. "As you say." He heaved a long sigh of pain, trying forcefully to steady his words. "They wiped the memories of your companions so that they would forget you. Then they sent them home, leaving you behind to face the Time Lords alone. You were put on trial and the sentence was... you would be forced into your next regeneration, which resulted in me. Only the regeneration went badly. You-- I --we screamed. We were being torn asunder and sent spinning, being hurled bodily to earth along with the TARDIS."  
    He steeled himself before revealing what was next. "Your last words right before... right before you became me were..." Third hid his eyes with his hand again. "You called out for Jamie."  
    The small man flinched, made a tiny inarticulate sound.  
    Third's shoulders began to shake again. "Oh, it's all coming back now, every horrible moment of the change and it's because you're here. The Time Lords made it happen. They watched you--me--us-- being torn apart and reshaped.  Because you're here with me and because of our psychic link, I'm only now remembering all the parts about being you. They had wiped my memories of you and our First, you see. But now the pain is back. The memory of the regeneration. Oh, Rassilon, so much pain." He ground his teeth. "During the transformation, I tried to will myself to be so much more physically strong. I needed endurance. If I at all could have molded my own fate, I did that much."  
     The smaller man looked suddenly lost. "Jamie," he whispered gently, yearning for that set of strong, protective arms about himself now, wanting to feel the security of being enfolded by his beloved companion, along with the knowledge that the two of them still belonged to one another at that instant in time. His eyes grew round with sorrow and shame. He wanted to reach out and in turn embrace his other self but he knew that it would not be a welcome gesture. The bigger man was still huddled and shaking.  
    He was haunted by this vision of things to come; yet he himself did not weep. Instead, he regarded his future self's agony with pity and made a decision. He stood up to his full, limited height, squaring his shoulders.  
    "This all hasn't happened to me yet. I will not let it rule me now that I know all of this. Yes, yes." He held up a protesting hand when Third mumbled something about time-streams. "I'm supposed to forget all you've told me once I leave here. However, this incarnation--" he pointed to his own chest "-- has always been a bit more fey, shall we say? I may have my strange moments of premonition and sometimes I actually think I can see past the time barriers if I concentrate hard enough. Even then I will still continue to plod along as is nothing will ever change. Heh." He chuckled ruefully. "Life is too short, eh? I'm like a butterfly."  He grinned boyishly. Third did not return his mirth.  
    Stepping closer to his despairing future, he said gently, "But if I don't continue on as you say I do, well then, my dear chap, you will never exist!"  
    "Maybe that's for the best," murmured Third.  
    "No!" Second stamped his foot angrily. This actually startled the taller man and he spun to face him. "Don't you dare take that route! Don't you dare give up on us. You are a very proud--"  he surveyed his future self from head to foot "-- if perhaps needlessly tall creature, but I can see that you are a champion. Why, why, look at how ridiculously pompous you are, even now in this disheveled state!" He gesticulated accusingly at the towering man.  
    Third now looked rather annoyed, despite his eyes being awash with tears. "I beg your pardon, you little ragamuffin, I'm the ridiculous one? I? I could squash you like a bug with only one finger."  
    Second then clapped his hands in triumph and laughed. "Splendid! That's the spirit!"  
    Third only stared at him, befuddled. Now he knew how the Brigadier felt. Second approached and put a steadying hand upon one of the big shoulders. "I am so sorry, dearest one. Oh, what you must have been made to endure because of my choices! And what am I myself going to become?  Perhaps I am not very wise at all."  
    "You did what you needed to do. You saved lives. But for the Time Lords' intervention, you had to pay a price. We... had to pay a price." Third pulled a neat, elegant handkerchief from a velvet pocket and wiped discreetly at his rather prominent nose. Quite a mighty nose, Second could not help observing once more. He supposed he had required a mighty new nose for this later incarnation to go along with that robust frame.  
    He took the opportunity to try and soothe his other self by stroking his arm. He frowned at the rich material of the sleeve: it was far too ostentatious for a frock coat that would only get torn or burnt eventually by the Daleks.  
    "Again, I know I will forget everything you've told me and these future events will carry on unchanged. But let me say that perhaps I am the chrysalis and you are the butterfly this time around. You're what I am to transform into and I am quite impressed at what I see of my future." He grinned encouragingly up at the willowy man. "You are quite a big, beautiful butterfly."  
    Third took his long fingers from his eyes and looked at his smaller, younger self in surprise. "You can't be serious, old chap," he muttered through his tears.  
    "I am always serious when the matter calls for it," Second smiled softly. He then reached forward and childishly encircled the bigger man with his arms, pressing him closely against himself. In stature, his head barely came to the other's shoulder. Third stiffened for a moment, startled.  
     It took only seconds, but he finally relented, melted, and clumsily returned the embrace with a shy smile.  
    So, so peculiar it was holding another version of oneself and finding you loved him so strangely and deeply, the person you said you never wanted to ever be again and wished you could purge from your history.  
    His face pressed to Third's strong chest, Second sighed blissfully. "Now don't you forget that I did this. We may meet again and I might not treat you as affectionately as I am doing right now. I am quite mercurial." He stood on his toes and kissed his future self on the cheek. Wide-eyed, Third gazed down at him, touching his face with his fingers where the past had touched it with his lips. And gratitude filled his eyes.  
    Second continued, mischievously: "Who knows? Perhaps I can play a bit with time and change the severity of all this. No, don't look so shocked. I think one might be able to somehow add a reprieve to one's sentence and change all this, hmm?" He giggled then, a plan already hatching. "And it won't alter the future too much and you'd still be able to exist, dear fellow."  
    Third lifted a suspicious eyebrow.  
    "You don't mean... Not the CIA..."  
    Second looked back up at his future self. "I think I've done very well with you."  
    He added an impish wink.  
      
  


End file.
